The worry time technique: postpone, then look at it later

What worry time is

You choose a fixed slot each day, and that is when you allow yourself to worry. Outside the slot, when a worry arrives, you note it briefly and postpone it until worry time.

The idea is not to stop worrying by force. It is to give worries a place to go, so they take up less of the rest of your day and you can look at them with a clearer head.

Setting up your daily worry slot

Choose 15 to 20 minutes and keep it at the same time each day. Avoid right before bed, because you do not want to hand yourself a list of worries just before sleep.

Pick a place that is not where you relax, such as a kitchen table rather than your sofa or bed. Bring a pen and paper or open the planner. When the time is up, stop and move on to something else.

Postponing a worry when it shows up

When a worry arrives, write two or three words on your list, just enough to remember it later. Then gently bring your attention back to what you were doing.

You are not arguing with the worry or trying to solve it. You are telling it that it will get your full attention at worry time, and then returning to your day.

What to do during worry time

Go through your list one worry at a time. Many of the worries will no longer bother you by now, so you can cross them off. Notice that, because it shows how many worries pass by themselves.

For the worries that still matter, sort them into problems you can act on and problems you cannot. For the first kind, pick one small action. For the second kind, use the worry tree to practise letting them go.

When worry time feels hard

It takes practice. In the early days you may find it hard to postpone, and the worries may feel louder. If you cannot wait until your slot, shorten the gap: postpone for ten minutes instead of a whole day.

Skipping a day is fine. If you miss worry time, just start again the next day. You are building a habit, and a slip does not undo it.

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